The Final Post

So this is it.

The end of this blogging journey
Photo courtesy of myself

I am extremely doubtful that I will ever write another blog post after this one, an awareness that's accompanied with a sense of both relief and sorrow. We are nearing the end of this school year, my blog's expiration date.

Where was I when I started my blogging journey? I was admittedly very confused, unsure how I could possibly manage everything that was bound to be thrown at me. I've grown slightly, although I don't feel like much has changed.

I've learned a lot from blogging, as stupid and vaguely cliché as that sounds. Being given an outlet is an amazing feeling. I was able to release stress by writing ridiculous theories about the universe, I was able to distract myself from other things I was worried about, and I was able invest a piece of my mind in one of the first school assignments that has ever truly been fun.

I honestly don't think much has changed since the fall, when I began contributing to this blog. Other than creating some sort of digital journal for my future self, nothing extremely life-changing has come out of this assignment. However, I still feel like it was worth it. I learned from this experience.

Mostly, I learned that it's impossible to escape some things, like the extensive workload you're bound to be given and the bad things you're going to feel. You can manage, though. As people, we forget how tough we are. It's not like the video games, because in reality you only get one life and most people still live an average of 78 years. There are moments when things feel really bad and that's okay. I know that's okay.

I'm not going to tell you that you can do anything or some bullshit like that because I'm not a motivational speaker. It's just that, this year, I've found out that hard things are possible. Maybe I'm bound to fail the AP test this upcoming Friday and, yeah, I've bombed lots of assignments this year. But all these terribly stressful difficulties are things that I've accomplished. I survived my first year in high school! Look at me go.

So where am I today? Still confused, that's for sure. I still have no clue what I'm doing and maybe I never will know, but I've decided that nobody really does. It's okay to feel lost because we are living in a world full of people who feel the exact same way. We're all stumbling around blindly, searching for places where we feel okay. I think people are like puzzles – yes, in the way that we're all looking for ways to put each other together, but in a different way, too. I think we hand out puzzle-pieces of ourselves like flyers on the sidewalk corner. Me? I've given a piece of myself to my friends, to my family. To dance, art, writing, photography, reading, music, movies…things I love. Things I can't lose.

Now, the human mind is a complicated thing. I'm never going to know all the secrets of the universe, but I know this: everyone's trying to find something to root themselves in. Perhaps a religion, a band, someone to love. People want to feel safe. And everyone needs somewhere where they can be whoever they want to be, free of fear or discomfort. Maybe a group of friends, a church, a social media site.

Or maybe a blog.

A/N: Thank you to anyone who has actually been reading my blog (my friends, mostly). People who have left compliments – especially the few that stopped me in the hall to tell me they loved my writing when I didn't even realize they knew about it. This was a cool journey. Thanks for sharing it with me.
Also, I'm allowed to be sappy and superficial and fake-deep because this was an entire school-year of my life and I feel bizarrely attached to it. Thank you. This is the end.

A Realization

I was sitting casually in my bedroom, thinking about this blog that I've sort grown tired of writing for, when I realized something: Nothing on this blog matters at all.

The "description" under the header of my blog has always said "This is my blog, I talk about things that matter" but today I have come to realize that this is a massive lie. As a person who talks constantly about existentialism and the inevitability of oblivion, it's fairly obvious that nothing I've written on this blog is actually "important." I feel like my description should instead read, "This is my blog, I talk about things that don't matter."

If you know me at all, it's obvious that I believe humanity is insignificant to the universe. Yes, all people contribute to shaping the world in some way and yes, everything that you do has led you up to reading this sentence. But this blog, in all honesty, is very negligible. The world would still turn and people would still go about their daily lives if I had never created it. The only thing that would change, really, is the amount of homework I'd have to complete.

Now, this isn't a blog post just to talk about how unimportant we all are (I've written one of those before). I just thought I would mention it because I suddenly realized that I sound very arrogant. I do not talk about things that matter, because different things matter to different people. Claiming that I am one of the only people who writes about these things (that probably don't matter) makes me feel sort of ridiculous.

Anyway, now that I've started this blog post, I should probably make a point.

I don't know about you, but a part of me feels like my life is unimportant. Maybe it's because I'm not Beyoncé, or maybe it's because I'm so small in comparison to the massive universe. This is sort of irrelevant to what I was just talking about but think about it: There are, what, 7.12 billion people on this planet? You're 0.000000000014035% of the planet's population – I looked it up. While maybe that's something that makes you feel small, it's also sort of amazing. In a world full of frustrating, vaguely annoying people, you were given this little life in which you go to school and eat fruits and vegetables. It feels nice, almost, to be so unimportant.

If you think about it, it would sort of suck to be famous. You've seen the movies: a pop star with her life planned out by someone else, stuck in a cycle of paparazzi and crazed fans. That's not what I'm talking about, though. Your life is an extremely personal thing. To be given your own hands and a mind that no one else could ever understand…it's sort of extraordinary.

It's like that Bill Nye quote: "Everyone you will ever meet knows something you don't." Everything that is currently shoved into your brain, everything that matters to you, and all the knowledge you've ever been given is all yours. No one will ever understand things like you do. You have a mind of your own with opinions unlike others'. You're a singular, individual personality. You're a separate person, detached from the realm of this troublesome world, and you exist.

This is absolutely the stupidest picture I've ever put on a blog post but.
Look! We're all different colored fish :)
Image Credit Here

A/N: I sort of went off on a tangent (10 points to Gryffindor for the use of the Vital Vocab word), so I apologize. To summarize: my blog does not matter at all, but it's alright because being small and distinctive is a good thing in a world full of different people who will never know you at all.

My New Year's Resolution

Photo courtesy here

Today is the second day of year 2016, and I feel sort of grossly cliché for writing a blog post about this.

I spent New Year's Eve with a small group of my close friends, most of it laying on the carpet and making awful jokes about 2015's trends. When the clock struck midnight we set off those annoying popper things and made a mess that we later had to clean up. Emma and I shared a large blanket when we went outside to light sparkles in the snow. We played good music and drank effervescent champagne.

The second we entered 2016, social media was instantly blown up with posts and cheesy quotes like "New Year, New Me!!" This entire concept is sort of amusing. People use a measurement of time to excuse their lack of work ethic or accomplishments; they use this absurd holiday to make themselves feel better about not fulfilling their goals, because now they can create new resolutions that they will again fail to achieve.

I've decided only to develop one resolution this year, considering I believe them to be stupid.

My New Year's resolution is to never have New Year's resolutions again.

According to this website, only 8% of people are successful in achieving their resolutions. So I honestly don't see the point in my making them.

Plus, if you want to change something about yourself, you are perfectly capable of doing this at any moment throughout the year. You don't have to wait until January 1st in order to fix your life. People often grow oblivious to this, but as humans we are very capable of fixing things – especially things about ourselves. You may see yourself as indecisive or boisterous, but you can change your own traits. If you're sick of being too loud or too shy then stop. Your personality is not set in stone. If you don't want to act the way you do, don't. If you don't want to do the things you do, don't.

You're allowed to alter your own characteristics. Dye your hair orange. Take on a new sport. Learn how to cook Indian food. If you're not satisfied with the way your life is, change it. You don't have to keep waiting until a new year rolls around in order to get things done.

A/N: I'm aware that it's not the 2nd of January anymore, but that's when I started formulating this post. I originally wrote an entire blog post about my actual New Year's resolutions, but then I realized how pointless they were so I rewrote this. I hope this is still a valid topic to discuss even though we've been in 2016 for 5 days now.

How To Survive High School

Perhaps the title of this post sounds overdramatic and childish, but it's not supposed to be like that. When people hear the words "How to Survive High School" it often sounds like a chapter book that you'd see in a middle school library – one with pathetic advice and explanations for your first crush.

The thing is, there are people who actually don't survive high school.

I'm only a freshman and I already understand this. I'm in all honors/AP classes this year, and it gets extremely overwhelming sometimes. I will write/have written countless posts about the reasons the education system should change, but for now:

I'm making this list. And throughout the year, in developing blogposts, I might add to it. Here are some things you should do to help you survive high school:

1. Befriend your teachers. Though this seems pointless at first, it can come in handy. Maybe it seems cool to be the offhand rebel student that talks back and makes jokes, but this is such a bad idea. I've gotten A's on projects that others in my group have failed simply because the teacher likes me.

2. Make a list of your homework and add to it throughout the day. It's SO EASY to forget about things you have to do, and then you're failing a class because you've neglected a few assignments.

3. Keep a single homework folder. I used to have multiple binders to lug home every day, which is a very terrible thing. Hold on to one folder. That way you can flip through pages and everything is right there and it's all handy and neat.

4. Have a pair of headphones with you at all times. For those of you that take extra curricular classes like art or CTE, music is a lifesaver. Along with tuning out teachers that talk for too long, it's also a very non-controversial way to tell someone you don't want to engage in conversation.

5. Pretend to pay attention. This is helpful for accomplishing #1. If you want to actually pay attention, that would be a better option, but if you hate a teacher too much or can't handle listening anymore, play games in your head. Count the amount of times they say "uh" or "um" or "mkay?" (I've done this so many times. It looks like you're taking notes or deep in thought.)

6. Schedule time for your homework. When you're on the bus or in a nonproductive environment, take 10 seconds to consider when you're going to do your homework.

7. Eat breakfast. This sounds so stupid, I know, but I have so many friends that don't eat breakfast and it really confuses me how they manage to function. Force feed yourself some Cheerios. You need food to churn your brain gears.

A portrait of me at school
Photo courtesy here

I normally hate blogposts like this. I don't blame you if you scoffed the entire time while reading this, because what would I know? A fifteen year old freshman telling you how to get through high school seems a bit inapposite. It's not like I know how anything works in high school – hell, I'm still in a building with a bunch of 8th graders.

Also, I've always thought advice blogs/columns were disturbingly stupid. Receiving guidance from a person who doesn't know who you are is and doesn't know what you need to hear…it seems unnecessary.

Still, I feel like everyone can agree that high school is not easy. Everything is sometimes hard to manage, and often it feels stressful and tiring and useless. It's not, though; education is actually a really great thing to have. You just have to learn how to survive it.

Settle For Less

A student comes home with their final report card, disappointed in some aspects but somewhat proud. They've received mostly A's and B's, along with a single D but that doesn't really bother them. They worked hard this semester and are fairly pleased with their good grades.

The second they enter the kitchen their mom/dad asks to see their report card. As a parent, their eyes go directly to the D. Their first response is immediately "You got a D in History?" because that's what they see. That's what doesn't fulfill their expectations.

As a student, their parent's retaliation seems heart crushing. The student didn't think it was that bad. One D, they thought. My other grades were all good, they thought.

It's disturbing that most adults focus on kids' failures as opposed to their successes.

This is true in all situations. This is the reason that adults constantly ridicule the younger generation for everything; technology, for example, is not appreciated for being impressive and revitalizing – it's scoffed upon for being distracting. This is the reason that kids don't feel appreciated for their hard work.

This comes up on Google Images if you search "parents clipart"
Photo Courtesy

It's not just parents, either. Everyone does this. All people subconsciously focus in on the substandard things rather than admiring what they have achieved. All people work a harder to become something more; all people strive to be good enough.

So, is it ever going to be good enough? Or does everyone keep reaching for a report card…an approving smile…a lifestyle…that's unachievable? If the student works hard enough, will their parents ever look at them and say they're perfect? And if they say it, are they lying? Of course it could be better; it could always be better. No matter what it is, you could achieve more.

For some people this is inspirational. If you can always improve, then there's always something to reach for. This is a form of motivation.

For others, however, this reality is immensely defeating. No matter how hard you work, how fast you climb, or how hard you try, you'll never reach the absolute maximum of human accomplishment.

So settle for less. Do everything to your best ability, and be proud of yourself for it. Look at your report card and think, hey, I worked really hard on this. Don't ever deride yourself for not being good enough, and don't let anyone degrade you for your pride.

Flaws In The Education System #1

I plan on writing multiple posts about things that are wrong with our education system. Welcome to the first of (hopefully) many.

Education or Grade?

Photo courtesy

A student walks into math class feeling entirely normal. She/he has just finished conversing with a friend about the geography test next period, something that everyone seems to be stressed about today. He/she takes a seat where he/she is assigned and glances forward. On the white board is written, "TEST TODAY. NO CALCULATORS!"

She/he mentally panics, immediately filling with terror. With the biology test last class and the geography test next class…he/she completely forgot about this one. Math.

The student's eyes scan over the bold words again. No calculators. She/he hadn't practiced multiplying matrices at all. He/she was relying on the use of a calculator in order to pass this exam. So he/she snatches one from the basket and holds it in between their thighs, smiling warily as the rest of the students enter the classroom.

No one seems to notice him/her cheating, but they're very cautious. Sure, he/she feels awful about it, but they have good reason. The teacher doesn't let them retake tests! And the student knows their grade will not be an A after this.

At some point he/she realizes that they have absolutely no clue how to perform this equation. The person sighs, glances up, and glimpses at another students' work (Not even to cheat! They just want to see how far behind they are) only to realize they're on the exact same problem. And his/her neighbor, unlike his/herself, actually has an answer written down.

You may be thinking: How is this a flaw in the education system? It seems like a flaw in the teacher's awareness. However, this is the issue:

The reason students cheat on tests is because their grade matters more than their education.

Why is this, exactly? I think the answer is sort of obvious. From the moment students start receiving grades, the entire idea of them is exaggerated. Once you reach high school especially, everything revolves around your GPA. It's not about being knowledgable. College applications don't look at your brain activity, they look at your transcript.

Maybe I'm wrong, but I'm pretty sure that the original point of school was to educate kids. The emphasis on learning feels like it's been decreased. To me, it's as if the entire point of high school is to get good grades, get into a good college, and get a high-paying job. I don't just want to succeed in school; I want to be intelligent. The idea of learning and knowledge is really awesome, and school takes that away from us.

So screw the grades – aim for intellect. Set fires with brilliance, break hearts with capability, and learn.

The Large Gap Between Where You Are And Where You Should Be

The thing is, you may feel sort of unaccomplished. Maybe you're like me and you spend your minimal free time looking at pictures of dogs dressed as bees. Maybe you're life is a repetitive cycle. Maybe you're slower than everyone else, and maybe you feel a bit behind.

That's sort of okay, though.

There are people in the world who move really fast – the type of people who are ahead of all their responsibilities, homework, and chores. These are the type of people that have everything planned to the minute; the type of people that text you "hey" and say "sorry I have to go" two minutes later. Treadmill people. They take advice from time and never stop going places. These are the type of people who are rooted into their beliefs. Always on the ground, never distracted. Stable, conscious, fast.

Then, there's everyone else. Possibly you. The people that feel like everything is moving too quickly for them to keep up – like they're constantly running to catch the bus but it pulls away as soon as they arrive. They sometimes feel like they're moving too slow, but that's fine. They take their time on their homework, chores, and responsibilities. They're the type of people that will sit down at the bus stop and accomplish something else as they wait for the next vehicle. They'll text you and ask you how your day went, and (even if they have something else to do) they'll maintain a conversation. These are the type of people who are suspended in the sky. Gentle, free-falling, slow.

There's nothing wrong with moving "too slowly" or being "behind everyone else." Take your time. Breathe through everything.

There's also nothing wrong with moving quickly. Write a final essay in 27 minutes. Check something off on your to-do list and sprint to the next objective.

But:

If you look at other people and wish you were there, stop doing that. I'm serious. Stop. Maybe it doesn't seem that easy ("I can't just stop being envious of people") but you actually can.

Try to compliment someone else without comparing them to yourself. Try to look at people and flood them with admiration. Everything is beautiful and everyone is beautiful. At some point you'll realize that you're a part of everyone, too.

Actually, the title of this post is a complete lie. There is no "large gap between where you are and where you should be." You are THERE. You've accomplished everything you're supposed to have accomplished. This is for you:

Do you think they actually posed for this, just suspending their hands in the air like that, or were they actually mid high five? Anyways, photo courtesy here

A/N: This is actually a fairly inspirational post, which is really unlike me. I mostly wrote this because I was feeling overwhelmed and very behind with schoolwork/responsibility. It sort of made me feel better. I hope it does the same for you. 
Also please excuse the high-five picture. I'm required to add an image to every one of my posts and for some reason I thought it was funny.