 |
| The end of this blogging journey Photo courtesy of myself |
Where was I when I started my blogging journey? I was admittedly very confused, unsure how I could possibly manage everything that was bound to be thrown at me. I've grown slightly, although I don't feel like much has changed.
I've learned a lot from blogging, as stupid and vaguely cliché as that sounds. Being given an outlet is an amazing feeling. I was able to release stress by writing ridiculous theories about the universe, I was able to distract myself from other things I was worried about, and I was able invest a piece of my mind in one of the first school assignments that has ever truly been fun.
I honestly don't think much has changed since the fall, when I began contributing to this blog. Other than creating some sort of digital journal for my future self, nothing extremely life-changing has come out of this assignment. However, I still feel like it was worth it. I learned from this experience.
Mostly, I learned that it's impossible to escape some things, like the extensive workload you're bound to be given and the bad things you're going to feel. You can manage, though. As people, we forget how tough we are. It's not like the video games, because in reality you only get one life and most people still live an average of 78 years. There are moments when things feel really bad and that's okay. I know that's okay.
I'm not going to tell you that you can do anything or some bullshit like that because I'm not a motivational speaker. It's just that, this year, I've found out that hard things are possible. Maybe I'm bound to fail the AP test this upcoming Friday and, yeah, I've bombed lots of assignments this year. But all these terribly stressful difficulties are things that I've accomplished. I survived my first year in high school! Look at me go.
So where am I today? Still confused, that's for sure. I still have no clue what I'm doing and maybe I never will know, but I've decided that nobody really does. It's okay to feel lost because we are living in a world full of people who feel the exact same way. We're all stumbling around blindly, searching for places where we feel okay. I think people are like puzzles – yes, in the way that we're all looking for ways to put each other together, but in a different way, too. I think we hand out puzzle-pieces of ourselves like flyers on the sidewalk corner. Me? I've given a piece of myself to my friends, to my family. To dance, art, writing, photography, reading, music, movies…things I love. Things I can't lose.
Now, the human mind is a complicated thing. I'm never going to know all the secrets of the universe, but I know this: everyone's trying to find something to root themselves in. Perhaps a religion, a band, someone to love. People want to feel safe. And everyone needs somewhere where they can be whoever they want to be, free of fear or discomfort. Maybe a group of friends, a church, a social media site.
Or maybe a blog.
A/N: Thank you to anyone who has actually been reading my blog (my friends, mostly). People who have left compliments – especially the few that stopped me in the hall to tell me they loved my writing when I didn't even realize they knew about it. This was a cool journey. Thanks for sharing it with me.
Also, I'm allowed to be sappy and superficial and fake-deep because this was an entire school-year of my life and I feel bizarrely attached to it. Thank you. This is the end.
